You Will Love Again
by Greenstuff
Summary: Post season 8 finale one-shot. Alex deals with the aftermath of the plane crash. WARNING: character death.


**You Will Love Again**

Alex stood on the helicopter pad. Hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, the only sign of his inner turmoil. A fucking _plane crash! _He still couldn't quite believe it. But there they were, standing in silent, white faced clusters, waiting for the helicopter to arrive, hoping against hope that the injuries weren't as bad as the first report had indicated.

The whirring of helicopter blades could be heard in the distance. Alex turned along with Dr. Webber, Owen, Teddy, Callie, Bailey, Avery and the team of nurses that were waiting with stretchers for their patients to arrive. As soon as the call had come in all the ORs were cleared along with two trauma bays. Alex just prayed there were no other accidents that night. Six of their surgeons… it was unimaginable.

The next several hours passed in a blur. The second the helicopter hit the pad there was an explosion of action. Alex caught a glimpse of Meredith as she was pressed down onto a stretcher and covered with a heavy blanket. She appeared to be fighting Bailey every step of the way and he breathed a sigh of relief. If she was fighting to be let up she had to be okay, his mind reasoned.

Mark Sloane was in rough shape. Teddy had him intubated in seconds, barking orders that he be taken immediately to an OR. Christina, like Meredith appeared to be more or less okay. She flat out refused to sit on a stretcher, instead, applied herself to helping lift Arizona out of the stretcher. Alex saw Callie go white before she set her face in a business like expression, Alex pitied whoever was assigned to that OR. Derek was unconscious when they loaded him onto a stretcher and wheeled him straight for an OR. Alex watched in slowly dawning horror as the Helicopter shut its doors. _Lexie_.

Someone was calling his name. He turned and jogged towards the Chief. "Karev, you're with Torres. Give her whatever help she needs."

"But-" Alex protested.

Owen silenced him with a look.

Alex turned and jogged after Callie. After that it was hours of listening to Callie rant, only half in English, while she screwed her wife's femur back into place. There was a frightening moment when an artery burst, but despite her fear and anger, Callie remained in control and six hours after the helicopter had landed, Arizona was in the ICU, critical, but stable.

Alex barely waited to make sure she was going to be okay before he was running to the nurses' station to check the OR board. The Chief and Hunt were in OR1 working on Derek. Teddy was in OR2 with Mark. Bailey's name was nowhere to be seen. Alex sat down at the computer and in a few minutes he had Meredith's room number.

Bailey was in there when he arrived. Sitting beside Meredith's sleeping form, finishing up a chart. "Can I help you Karev?" She asked in her no nonsense tone.

"Is she..?"

"She'll be fine." Bailey stood up. "I have patients to see. You sit right here. Page me when she wakes up."

Alex nodded. He sat in the chair by Meredith's bed, his eyes glued to her face. She was pale, even paler than normal, and there was crusted blood in her hair. His heart clenched. He was supposed to be on that plane. He should have been with her. Not that he would have known what to do… but sitting here he felt so _helpless_.

He didn't know how long he'd been sitting there when Dr. Webber appeared in the doorway. "How is she?"

"Asleep, but Dr. Bailey says she'll be okay."

Dr. Webber sighed and Alex turned to look at his former chief. There were tears in his warm brown eyes. "Sheppard?" He asked, dreading the answer.

Webber shook his head, closing his eyes as if he couldn't bear to see the comprehension in Alex's eyes. "Page me when she wakes up. I'll tell her."

Alex nodded, relief coursing through his body. He didn't think he could stand telling her that her husband hadn't made it. It would be hard enough to be there when someone else spoke the life altering truth. It would be hard, but they would have to force him out if they didn't want him to be there. You didn't walk away from someone you loved just because their life was about to get a whole lot worse.

And he loved her. So much it took his breath away. He'd been in love with Meredith Grey for years. And she would never ever know.

.

.

.

"I can't do this…" Meredith came to a standstill beside the black town car.

Alex placed a comforting hand on the small of her back. "Yes you can."

She turned her red rimmed eyes on him and he gave in to the urge to pull her into his arms. "You can do this, Mer." He murmured against her hair, "I'm right here."

Alex had barely left her side in two weeks. Today, Derek's funeral, would be no different. Christina was never further away than she needed to be, but she was grappling with her own issues along with Meredith's, and there was only so much she could do.

The funeral parlour was full, there was even a group of people standing at that back. Alex sat on Meredith's left side, not letting go of her hand until it came time for her to get up and talk. Tears burned at the back of his eyes, but he kept them from falling through sheer stubbornness. He could fall apart when Meredith was okay. Until then he would be the shoulder she could cry on, the person who would show up on a moment's notice with a bottle of tequila.

April was taking care of Zola while she figured out what to do with her life. It seemed like everyone was in limbo. Alex alone felt like he had found purpose in all of the chaos. He no longer cared about things like signing bonuses or loan repayment packages, all he cared about was Meredith.

He wasn't an idiot. He knew she still loved Derek. She would always love Derek. But he couldn't completely squash the hopeful voice that told him she might one day love him too.

* * *

**A/N: **written in response to Whiz's challenge: _Grey's, Mer/Alex, Derek leaves for good, Mer leans on Alex._


End file.
